This past fall, I experienced two life-altering events in the course of a few weeks.  My every waking thought was consumed with the resulting issues, and I dreamed about them every night as well. I tried to pray. I plastered Scriptures all around myself, and reached toward God for strength many times a day. It kept me on my feet, but just barely.

After several weeks of continual turmoil, I woke in the wee hours one morning and headed to my prayer room, determined to find peace. To quiet the churning in my mind, I chose a psalm to read out loud. Hearing my own voice cracking with emotion broke the cycle of swirling thoughts long enough for me to shift into true prayer. I picked up my journal and asked God for wisdom, reminding Him and myself that He always answers that prayer. I turned to the book of James, wanting to read for myself the exact wording of that promise. (If anyone asks for wisdom… James 1:5) Immediately this passage grabbed my spirit:

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1:2-3, TEV

At this point, I knew I was being instructed to “consider it all joy,” but I had no idea how, so I asked. The initial reply I sensed was to appreciate the areas of my life where I was not facing difficulties: I had my physical health and food to eat and a roof over my head; my marriage was intact, and I had many people encouraging me. Then I looked at the promise: this season will produce endurance. I confessed, “I don’t see it, Lord. Show me.”

The Holy Spirit showed up as usual, reminding me of words Jesus has spoken:

“Come to me all you who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me…” Matthew 11:28-29

I asked the Spirit, “How do I learn from Jesus?”  He showed me truths about Jesus’ walk on this earth, including that Jesus suffered in the same way I was currently suffering, but he did not whine about how hard it was!  At that moment, though, I was still overwhelmed by my pain. I was nowhere near equal to the task of considering it all joy. So I prayed my go-to prayer: “Holy Spirit, help!”  His immediate response: This life is not all there is.  The day is coming soon when every tear will be wiped away, when the struggle against the darkness will be swallowed up by light everywhere.

As I was picturing this future, the Spirit reminded me of an experience I had 20 years ago, as a fairly new believer.  I had dropped my three young children off at Awana and parked nearby, to sit in my car and have an hour of uninterrupted prayer.  I think I might have asked God for an encounter. A silver ribbon winding toward the sky appeared.  I sensed a presence next to me as I traveled along the ribbon.  Soon, I was in a room without walls.  God the Father was seated in a large chair, and I was suddenly a small child.  I was on the floor playing with something, and Father was watching me with perfect love and acceptance.  There was no stress or worry or pressure to perform at all. I’ve never been able to adequately describe the sensation of gentle peace, but I’ve never forgotten it.

As I lingered in that place in my memory, I once again felt the burdens and expectations lift from my shoulders. I was able to receive the assurance that God will do more than I can ask or think.  Focusing on the unconditional love he freely gives, I was able to experience the joy he wants me to have in the midst of it all, and I was filled with gratitude and praise.

Thank you, Father, for loving me as your child, with no strings attached.  Thank you, Jesus, for setting aside your glory and enduring all the pain, to open a way for me to come to the Father.  Thank you, Holy Spirit, for being my constant companion and helper and guide. I pray that those who read these words will be blessed with the peace and joy that only you give.